Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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