he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
