Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
