Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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