If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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