I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
