You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
