brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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