dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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