Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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