did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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