So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
pray to the hookup gods
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
