NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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