you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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