I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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