The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
