he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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