I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
