I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize