Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
