these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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