I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
