I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
my liver is dry heaving
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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