um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
