im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
