im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
