it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
