IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
