in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize