And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
