The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
