Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
