I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
