How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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