I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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