Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
