I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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