they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
