Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
