Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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