remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's official drugs can't kill me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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