My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
