I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My vagina just recognized that song.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize