so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
