So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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