would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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