you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
