I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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