We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize