i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
