it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
