i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
