you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
