found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
