i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
