i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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