i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize