i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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