she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
