Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
pray to the hookup gods
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
