im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
