Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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