I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize