Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
