Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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