well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
