she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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