New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
