Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
